Petra , Jordan

Petra is a valley of colorful sandstone hills into which ancient Nabataeans carved immense ornate tombs in the 6th century B.C. Sandstone colors are red, yellow, blue, white, purple, and green patterned in straight lines, waves, and swirls. Up close, the rock has a natural beauty unequalled elsewhere in the world. Into this gorgeous setting are carved tombs with visually striking facades. One of the most impressive is the first one encountered after walking over 1km through the narrow cliff walls of the Siq. Used in the Indiana Jones movie “The Last Crusade”, this tomb called “The Treasury” is where Indiana Jones enters to retrieve the Holy Grail.

In 106 A.D., the Roman Empire took control of Petra and erected typical Roman city structures such as a theater, bath, and colonnaded street. Using the colorful sandstone as building material, these Roman ruins may be the prettiest in the world.

Before entering, purchase the “Map of Petra” available at most stores in Wadi Musa. Petra is at least 30km² and has over 800 registered sites, some up partially eroded stairs and others tucked behind rocks. The lack of signs in Petra make the map essential.

GETTING THERE
A bus runs between the Wahadat bus station and the roundabout in the center of Wadi Musa, the town next to the sandstone hills of Petra. Wahadat is the first town south of Amman but the Wahadat bus station is several kilometers away from its center. Finding bus or shared taxi transport in downtown Amman to the Wahadat bus station isn’t easy. A regular taxi should cost about JD 0.750.

The official price of the bus to Wadi Musa is JD 1.650 but tourists are often asked to pay JD 2.5 “with luggage”. The bus leaves when it’s full.

We went to Wahadat bus station one day ahead of time without our luggage to verify the price and departure time. This method normally got us accurate information in other countries. We were told that the bus leaves hourly starting at 07:00 and costs JD 1.500 without luggage or JD 2.500 with. “But be early to make sure you get a seat,” the bus attendant advised. The next morning slogging through a rain flooded Amman, we reached the Wahadat bus station at 06:30. 07:00 came and went. 08:00 was the same. By 09:30, the bus was full and we were on our way. So much for hourly departures! During our unexpected 3 hour wait, the price fluctuated between JD 2.500 and JD 1.500. A passenger who was an off-duty tourist police burst into argument with the bus attendant and suddenly the price for everyone, local or tourist, with or without luggage, was JD 1.650.

We reached Wadi Musa at 13:30, 4 hours after leaving Amman. The bus first stops at Musa Springs Hotel long enough for hotel staff to complete their sales pitch. Fortunately, a Belgian woman on our bus who had once stayed there warned everyone that it’s over an hour walk from the hotel to town where all the grocery stores and restaurants are. The next bus stop is the Wadi Musa roundabout where staff from several hotels await new arrivals.

WADI MUSA ACCOMMODATION
Few travelers have anything good to say about hotels in Wadi Musa. Many have warned to avoid Valentine Inn where the owner has a criminal history of harassing female tourists. We stayed at Saba’a Inn where the reception will tell any lie to trap guests into tours they sell to Wadi Rum. One couple we met liked the Orient Hotel.

PETRA ADMISSION
Admission to Petra is high but the site is possibly the most extraordinary in the world. Admission is JD 20.000 for one day, JD 25.000 for 2, and JD 30.000 for 3 or 4. The gate opens at 06:00 and officially closes at 17:00 but visitors can stagger back later. Most of Petra can be seen in one day with an early morning start. The heat during the day is exhausting so many people decide to view portions of Petra over multiple days.

From afar, the sandstone looks uniform in color. This is the Roman Soldier Tomb, so named because of the soldier statues above the entrance.

http://www.vacationreview.com/petra-jordan/

Shaver Lake Vacation Rentals, CA

I spent two days at this cabin in March of 2011. I can say that without doubt, it was the worst vacation I have ever had in my life.
Nothing was working like it should have. The heater was not working properly so it was very cold. Sleep was impossible because of the extreme cold. The clothes dryer did not work either so we could not dry out our clothes. The owner blamed us for the dryer problem and did not return the $500 returnable safety deposit.
But the worst was the fact that the owner did not let us know that he had installed hidden cameras. This was an invasion of client privacy.
So my advice would be DO NOT RENT THIS CABIN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

It was the worst weekend getaway ever and worst cabin. All my friends got sick after that terrible vacation. You will be wasting your money and your time.

2 Family, All-Season, Exquisite Vacation Lodge in the Sierra Mountains.
Property 253791
Gold Country / High Sierra

http://www.vacationreview.com/shaver-lake-vacation-rentals-ca/

Galapagos Island

I went there last summer as I was traveling through Latin America. I met someone that lived on the island before going, so I was fortunate enough to have a free place to crash and, they were a tour guide, so I got to squat on a free cruise/tour. Despite all this, it is not worth going unless you are a HUGE evolutionary biologist (or intelligent design researcher.)

It costs $100 just to leave the airport on the island (park fee). Then everything on the island is incredibly expensive. However, most everything to be seen is on islands, so you have to hire boats or cruises. Very expensive.

There are great photos to be taken and it is beautiful, don’t get me wrong. BUT… the Ecuadorian mainland is way cheaper and beautiful. for the same money you’d spend going to Galapagos, you could spend a week in the Amazon, see Quito, Guayaquil (coast), mountains, and go to Cuenca – the country’s 3rd biggest city that is largely unmodernized (cars weren’t common downtown until around the 60s).

Galapagos is a tourist attraction for people with a lot of money. Ecuador is a small and poor country, but they have just about all the geography you could ask for. Better recommendation – I flew into Quito, stayed there a bit, then ($50 flight) went to Coca, and took a boat up the Amazon to a place called Sani Lodge and stayed there for a few days. You could see all of Ecuador for twice as much time and probably spend half as much as you would on the islands. Also, the government is trying to save Galapagos, but Ecuador is really poor, so it is a tough balance to care about “lonely George” and the sparrows when people are hungry. I’d say your time is best spent on the mainland. However, if you’re looking for ocean in Latin America, the Caribbean islands (nutila is cheap!) of Honduras (2nd largest reef in the world) are supposed to be great. Also, Bocas del Toro in Panama are also impressive. However, having traveled from Guatemala to Peru… Colombia is amazing, Guatemala is one of the most beautiful places I’ve been (lago de Atitlan), and Ecuador has everything, including great people. Safe travels!


http://www.vacationreview.com/galapagos-islands/

Vermont

(Burlington, Vermont)

Yet another fantastic place to stop. The tour itself consists of you, the tourist, standing before a big glass window while the tour guide points out the factory workers and what they’re doing.

Our guide gave us an excellent tour and explained that Lake Champlain Chocolates is actually a third tier chocolatier. The first tier is the actual harvesting and roasting of the bean. The second is the process of making cocoa butter and chocolate. The third is actually doing something with the chocolate slabs. This is where Lake Champlain comes in. Yes, samples abound and the chocolate is excellent.

Magic Hat Brewing Company

(South Burlington, Vermont)
Ok, so I have to admit that we didn’t actually get to take the tour. Most of the breweries in Vermont give tours on the third Thursday after the full moon.

Maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but if you want a tour, have a free week because it will be at 1 pm in the middle of a weekday afternoon but you won’t know until the last minute. And don’t trust guidebooks or brochures, we found that they weren’t right either. Magic Hat had a plethora of interesting signs and gifts. They obviously didn’t have scads of money when they started and they used their creativity and ingenuity to develop a very unique brewery with some darn good beer. Definitely more than worth a look and a sip.

Vermont Teddy Bear Factory

(Shelburne, Vermont)

Do I need to even mention that your tour group will be minimum 50 percent kids? Lots of cute bears and they show you how a bear is “born”. From the fabric cuttings, to sewing, stuffing and packaging.

You get to watch the “handmade’ process in action. And it’s quite unique. There aren’t too many places that you can watch a teddy bear made or even stuff your own bear. Worth the stop, but it is teeming with people, so unless you’re one for crowds and large tour groups, be prepared to browse and tour in about an hour.

You can also purchase just about every kind of Teddy Bear in the gift shop and clothes too if you already have a bear.

Vermont Marble Exhibit

(Proctor, Vermont)

For those of you who share our fascination with things that are considered the world’s LARGEST of their species, this is a place you do not want to pass up. The front of the building alone affords you a place to have your picture taken with the largest hunk of marble in the world. The museum itself is nothing spectacular.

We arrived late in the day and missed the marble sculptor who is in residence. There are some impressive slabs of marble and there are samples of every conceivable marble in the world. Overall, the history behind the marble makes the tour interesting, although I wouldn’t plan on spending more than an hour.

Lake Champlain Chocolates Factory Tour

Wilson Castle

(Proctor, Vermont)
Another place that tickled our eccentric funny bone. It is the only castle in Vermont. Yet another instance of someone falling in love with Vermont and deciding to build a monstrosity of a house (see Hildene).

This isn’t exactly what I think of when I hear ‘castle’, but nonetheless it fits the necessary requirements. The castle is in bad shape in some places. The museum is looking to get some federal funding, so until then you’ll have to deal with a few crumbling ceilings. But the tour guides are friendly and a descendant of the original builder still lives in the house. Can’t beat that. Definitely worth a stop and the tour.

Robert Todd Lincoln’s Hildene

(Manchester, Vermont)

Robert Todd Lincoln, the only child of Abraham Lincoln to survive to adulthood, built Hildene. He was the president of the Pullman Car Company, which made passenger train cars, so it’s fitting that this monstrosity of a house was simply a summer home.

The guides tell stories chock full of eccentric tidbits. Though he was filthy rich, he pinched pennies until they screamed. When told of his father’s assassination, he ran through the White House collecting odd bits of his father’s personal effects. He also bought his wife a monstrosity of an organ whose pipes run the whole way up the entrance way stairwell. Of course, there are reasons and examples for all of these, but you have to take the tour to find out more.

Not so far off the beaten path, but not so much on the path to destroy the breathtaking views of Vermont’s Green Mountains.

Brookfield Floating Bridge

(Brookfield, Vermont)

Yet another great find from our pals at Roadside America. Unfortunately, the bridge is closed to vehicles right now. And there are great looming construction vehicles at the end of the bridge. But, you can still walk across and see plenty of Vermont’s breathtaking landscape.

Someone conveniently pulled out a few side rails, so that you can “jump off” of the bridge into the lake. The fall, as you can imagine, is non-existent.

Definitely out of the way, but well worth the stop. The very fact that the bridge is wooden and literally sits on the water is a marvel in itself.

Quechee Gorge

(Quechee, Vermont)

The “Grand Canyon” of Vermont. Or at least they advertise it as such. What can I say? You walk out on a bridge, it’s really high up, and oh yeah, the view is spectacular. But, you’ll be hard pressed to not find a beautiful landscape everywhere you go in Vermont.

Is Quechee Gorge worth the deviation? It’s chock full of tourists that seem to think so. And if you’re looking for a cheesy souvenir this is the place. Unfortunately, rather than being a fun and corny stop, it bordered on being a little too much. Hard to believe that could happen to us. There’s a great Scottish store on the way. And don’t forget the view from the bridge.

So is it worth stopping? Hey, we can’t tell you what to do, but this is not the Vermont that we know and love.

http://www.vacationreview.com/vermont/

Upper Peninsula of Michigan

That is because the Upper Peninsula, or U.P., is home to some of the harshest winters that the U.S.A. has to offer. You definitely shouldn’t be thinking about moving there if you cannot stand the cold, but if you are one of those people that appreciate the winter because it makes summer only that much better, then perhaps you should get a moving quote today, because the Upper Peninsula has one of the most beautiful summers in all of the U.S.A.

When Visiting the U.P. you will usually drive along highway 2. This is one of the most scenic car rides you can take in the U.S.A. as it borders Lake Michigan for much of the ride and the terrain of the U.P. is filled with beautiful forests, cliffs, and overall scenery.

Much of the area in the U.P. is forested, and it is the perfect place to take the family camping by one of the many inland lakes. At night you will be able to see every star, satellite, and planet in the sky – as well as the milky-way – as clear as the Hubble telescope does. It is a sight few get to witness and one you should definitely put on your bucket list.

The famous Mackinac Island has a population of around 492, but in the summer time it is a place full of thousands of tourists and visitors. It is known for its many fudge shops, and the use of motorized vehicles is prohibited on the island. It is a great place to take the family for a summer getaway.

http://www.vacationreview.com/the-upper-peninsula-of-michigan/

Tennessee

Jack Daniel’s Distillery
(Lynchburg, Tennessee)

Jack Daniel’s Distillery is a mecca in the state of Tennessee. People travel from all over the country through an area with more acres of trees than residents to experience the smell of this world famous whiskey. Yes, the smell. The distillery is smack dab in the middle of a dry county, so there is no tasting and no buying. But in the words of our guide, ‘You can sniff all you want!’

The parking lot, while chock full of parking spaces, has a very country feel with large hanging trees to protect against the glaring sun and baking heat of Tennessee. Before you start your tour, the distillery offers an area for you to walk around and learn more about the history of Jack Daniel’s the man and the whiskey.

The tour is first class all of the way from the opening movie that shows dogs chasing the old beat-up truck that the head distiller drives to work to the shuttle they use to drive you to the other side of the grounds. The grounds are spectacular with beautifully manicured lawns, old leafy trees and a cool creek (where they get the water for distilling) running through the property.

There was plenty of opportunity to sniff the whiskey, in fact our guide even flapped some of the vat lids to waft the smell out. Our tour guide was a perfect mix of Tennessee accent and quippy bits of information. They take you through the entire process, up the stairs and through the buildings and you see every step. The tour ends in the gift shop where you’re treated to a nice glass of Lemonade and told to go purchase your Jack Daniel’s when you get home.

Salute to the Tennessean Presidents
(Andrew Jackson, James Polk & Andrew Johnson)

Thus begins the chronicle of our quest to see at least one home of every president of the United States. I began touring president’s homes when I was 8 and haven’t stopped since. I can’t really tell you what the fascination is other than I’m always surprised by how much I learn about U.S. History, how much the President is revered in his hometown (streets, banks, stores, everything named after said president) and the wacky ways that the museum/park have come into owning their piece of history.

The funny thing about touring a Presidents’ home is how revered that President is in said area. Most areas name everything and anything in the area after the President out of pride, and I suppose a little bit of the American ideal, which capitalizes on a good thing. Come visit a piece of history, a bona fide president’s home!

Our experience in Tennessee at three different ex-presidents’ homes couldn’t have been more different. Our first stop was James Knox Polk’s house. He was the 11th president, who you may know from the ‘They Might Be Giants’ song. The estate made a fairly good attempt to basically cobble together every piece of memorabilia that he owned and give it a home in the only structure left that he ever lived in (besides the White House). We found Polk to be much like Coolidge, a good, hard working president, who didn’t accomplish anything extraordinary (well, he did expand the U.S. adding, Texas and California), but keeping the country alive. We were 2 of 3 people on the tour and when we ate our lunch in the backyard garden, nary a soul disturbed us.

Traveling to “The Hermitage” (You know you’re in trouble when the owner actually named the house), home to Andrew Jackson, we were confronted by rows upon rows of parking spaces. It was at this point that we began to realize that we had run into a bit of a Tennessee legend. General Jackson, as he preferred to be called (even during and after his presidency) was a leader to the tips of his toes. Either people hated him or they loved him. As with most legends, the state of Tennessee revered him as one of their most heralded attorneys, war heroes and politicians.

So it should come as no surprise that tours of the estate were both pricey and designed to shuttle as many people through the house as fast as possible. The grounds and home are kept in exquisite condition and there’s a veritable army of guides, gardeners and assistants.

Finally, we visited the home of the most curious of the three Tennessee presidents, Andrew Johnson. He was the only president besides Bill Clinton to have impeachment proceedings brought against him. Not knowing much about his impeachment trial, I was curious to see if the town even acknowledged his existence or merely found him an embarrassment. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Greenville revered Andrew Johnson. They have a bank and signs everywhere pointing to his home, museum and tailor shop. This is their main and perhaps only attraction in town.

The home is now owned by the National Park Service and delightfully, everything is free, including the guided tour and movie. Unlike Jackson’s home, but much like Polk’s home, it’s merely a house. It’s been added to and of course there are no bathrooms and the streets have widened, but it exists much as it did over 150 years ago when he lived there. The most interesting part of the entire tour is the section on the impeachment trial. Apparently, Hillary Clinton did not coin the phrase ‘right wing conspiracy’, she merely borrowed it from Andrew Johnson supporters. Another wronged person, as say the signs, that the Republicans tried to oust.

Carnton Plantation
(Franklin, Tennessee)

Carnton in Franklin, Tennessee is touted as a “plantation.” This label is a bit of a misnomer since the land was used for raising livestock and the food to feed them. Nonetheless, the house has the expansive porch and setting traditionally seen in a plantation. As the site of major Civil War activity, the Civil War buffs (and their screaming rug rats) were lined up in full force. This did not deter us. We braced ourselves and got a rather interesting tour of the house that was used as a temporary Civil War Hospital.

Throughout the house, bloodstains are still on the floors to the extent that you can see the outlines of the surgeon’s footprints and the bloody pool under his “cutting hand.” (Roadchick B is a sucker for the “gross out” factor).

Unfortunately on this tour, the guide was a history snob, and put us off a bit. Also, because of our proximity to Nashville and other commercially popular tourist attractions, it was extremely crowded, especially with young children.

Peabody Ducks
(People Watching Extraordinaire)

We were told about this attraction before we even started to really research Tennessee, and we actually only found one reference to it. We read that the ducks live on the roof (Penthouse) of the Peabody Hotel, one of the best hotels in the city of Memphis. Every day at 11 am and 5 pm the ducks get on the elevator and ride down to the Lobby, where a red carpet is rolled out for them. They then proceed to march down the carpet and swim around the Lobby Fountain. The guide book said to arrive an hour early for the best view.

We arrived 50 minutes early and couldn’t figure out why the book said to arrive so early. There were a few people sitting around the fountain, but certainly no organized gathering. So we sat down on the couch and made ourselves comfortable. Bad move. Soon, people started to trickle into the lobby and before we knew it there was a flood of people. They lined the path from the elevator to the fountain and we couldn’t even begin to get close enough to see anything.

Where are the Ducks?We thought that surely more people couldn’t arrive, but they did. I think the entire city of Memphis and every single tourist came to witness these trained ducks. We shortly climbed up the stairs to the second level in hopes of getting a better view. The view still wasn’t great of the ducks, but the view of the people was unbelievable. Adults jostling with children, parents shoving their children to the front and everyone holding their breath in anticipation when the elevator doors slid open.

We did finally see the ducks. They didn’t really march so much as run and then they spent the majority of their time trying to avoid grasping human hands as they swam around the fountain. All in all we decided that the people were more of an exhibit than the ducks.

Sun Studio
(Memphis, Tennessee)

What do Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash, and Bono have in common? They’ve all recorded at the legendary Sun Studio, of course.
This tiny building in Memphis houses the hallowed ground of many famous recording artists and still operates as a studio in the evenings! The tour begins with a fantastic montage of artifacts, video, and audio recordings to get the flavor of the early days of the recording studio. . . the tour guides are carefully dressed to reflect the times, and our guide presented her wealth of information with a Southern twang.

The tour moves along to the original front office (where Elvis would check in for his appointments) and then to the studio itself. As a modern studio, it houses the latest audio/recording equipment and instruments, but the pictures on the walls took us back in time. Audio clips also offered a glimpse into the fun moments at the studio–imagine Elvis cracking up laughing in the middle of one of his takes because Carl Perkins was making funny faces through the front window. Well, it’s been immortalized on tape.

Kissing the Spot Where Elvis RercordedAn “X” on the floor in electrical tape marks the spot where Elvis stood, so Roadchick B found it perfectly appropriate to play “Elvis Fanatic” and kiss the spot (while trying not to envision 1000′s of other Elvis fans who have kissed the same spot). The front entrance is a gift shop (of course) and also a whimsical soda fountain. We made a last-minute decision to take this tour and it turned out to be one of the favorites of Memphis.

This tour is highly recommended for music fans, Elvis fans, and fans of the 1950′s alike–it has a little something for everyone. We would like to salute Sam Phillips, the dreamer, schemer and founder of Sun Studio’s and Sun Records. He passed away shortly after our visit in 2003 at the age of 80.

Graceland
(Memphis, Tennessee)

Every time we travel and discuss our upcoming plans with relatives, friends and coworkers, there is always an attraction that stands out in the collective consciousness of the masses. What is the Tennessee attraction that gets the, “Are you going to visit” inquiry? Graceland, of course.

We were lucky enough to score a campsite right across the street from Graceland with a sea of RV’s and streets named, “Hound Dog Way” and “Love me Tender Boulevard.” We walked right next door to the Graceland parking lot and followed the maze of walkways to purchase our ticket. Our most expensive tour of the trip included an audio tour of the King’s mansion and grounds. After waiting 20 minutes to get on the bus we were shuttled across the street to Graceland.

Let me begin by saying that although Graceland is a big, nice house . . . that’s really all it is. Don’t expect an expansive plantation or giant mansion. Not only that, but this big, nice house is decorated in extremely tacky 70′s styles with shag carpet (that was not limited to the floors) and dark wood paneling everywhere, bright colors, crazy fabrics and mirrors on the walls. I felt like I had stepped right back into my youth.

The tour wound through all the rooms on the first floor as well as the garage, racquetball court, trophy room and grounds. On the tour, the unpleasant demise of Elvis (if you believe he’s dead) is fairly glossed over in favor of touting his musical ability, groundbreaking hip gyrations and commercial appeal. The gravesite is priceless. Mobs of fans were crowded around; snapping photos, crying and praying. On the bus ride back across the street one rabid fan grilled the bus driver on the requirements for working at Graceland since that was her “ultimate goal.”

Graceland was not my favorite house tour, but when in Memphis, you MUST strap on the sideburns and lace up your blue suede shoes. Millions of Elvis fans can’t be wrong.

http://www.vacationreview.com/tennessee/

Water for Elephants

Whatever magic was included in Sara Gruen’s 2006 novel, “Water for Elephants,” has not made the arduous journey to the big screen.

An excruciatingly labored and uneven melodrama, the cinematic incarnation of the best-seller takes a vivid tale of romance and revenge and bleeds it dry of tension, electing to hang tight to a trio of miscast actors instead of developing the rich world and characterizations of the story. The best part of the picture is the elephant, and even she looks embarrassed to be a part of this charmless snoozer.

After a tragedy disrupts his efforts to study veterinary medicine at Cornell during the Depression, Jacob Jankowski (Robert Pattinson) retreats to the mystery of travel, soon stumbling upon the Benzini Brothers Circus, run by the vicious August (Christoph Waltz) and starring his wife, Marlena (Reese Witherspoon).

Working up the ranks to become the circus’s resident vet, Jacob receives an education in the ways of power, observing August batter his wife and his animals, including Rosie, the star elephant of the show. Developing a bond with Rosie and encouraging an affair with Marlena, Jacob finds himself in deep trouble when August grows aware of his intentions, leaving the young man frantic to free his lover and escape the circus.

The director for “Water for Elephants” is Francis Lawrence, best known for his work on the sci-fi thrillers “I Am Legend” and “Constantine.” His latest provides a change of pace for the director, and while I’ll always applaud filmmakers looking to stretch, it’s clear after the conclusion of the first act that this material lands well beyond his skill level as a storyteller.

A sprawling novel of circus performers, psychological torment, and intimate relations, “Water for Elephants” is an intricate web of ideas and faces, requiring a special vision behind the camera to awaken its riches. Lawrence lacks the finesse needed to pull this old-fashioned melodrama off, laboring to stitch narrative elements together while the whole endeavor slowly but surely deflates.

While a movie of colorful images and lively circus settings, “Water for Elephants” doesn’t have a pulse. It’s a stillborn drama concerned with nailing the surface details of the book, taking viewers into the Benzini madhouse, a collection of train cars staffed with boozy performers and damaged animals, with Lawrence keeping the atmosphere awake through top-notch production design efforts. The film is awfully pretty, but it hardly registers in the senses, with the love triangle between Jacob, Marlena, and August a halfhearted effort of suspense.

Making matters worse, the performances are either cringingly over the top (Waltz is just absurd here) or unnervingly zombified, with Pattinson and Witherspoon generating little heat as the secret lovers making boom-boom eyes behind the big top. In fact, Jacob shows more chemistry with Rosie than Marlena, creating the film’s only sense of sincerity when our hero nuzzles up to his elephant pal, using Polish as a secret language to encourage the beast to perform.

Also faring well is Hal Holbrook, here as an elderly Jacob in the picture’s bookend sequences. The seasoned actor has a natural way with the stiff dialogue that wakes the film up, finding heart in a feature that’s cold to the touch.

Lawrence just doesn’t have a firm grasp on his movie, with supporting characters reduced to a blur, Jacob’s romantic perspective bent (Marlena is about as appealing as the flu), and this whole business of “redlighting” (August’s order to toss freeloaders off his moving train) left a frustrating question mark of suspense until the final 10 minutes of the picture.

“Water for Elephants” is a film of pieces, not a convincing whole, losing personality the harder it tries to sell dramatic stasis as excitement. There’s nothing to care about here and nothing to fall in love with, despite a director frantically insisting life exists inside this decidedly bloodless motion picture.

http://www.darkhorizons.com/reviews/1167/water-for-elephants/